January 2009
31 posts
Who Won the Gaza War? →
Depends who you listen to; Israel apparently achieved its military objectives, while Hamas claims a groundswell of support from affected Gazans has made them stronger than ever.
Would You Like To Be President of Somalia? →
Because for $2000, you can apply. You probably don’t want to, though, since the country is so messed up that its government can’t even live there. And people only care about the pirates, anyway.
The logic behind Republican opposition to Obama's... →
Voting against the stimulus gave the impression of a united front that can’t be swayed by the President’s charm, and was practically win-win—any success won’t last long, and if it fails Republicans can wipe their hands of it.
What a 1988 college thesis by the former vice... →
Dick Cheney has long-held ideas about Presidential power, which are supposedly backed-up by history.
How Gmail destroyed outlook. →
By being better in every way.
How can I get my friend to come volunteer with me? →
Find a cause they care about, or get them to do indirect work, like helping on a campaign or piece of legislation.
How do you qualify for house arrest? →
By looking “unlikely to break the terms of [your] confinement.”
The Obama team’s charges about Chinese currency... →
Because a whole bunch of countries mess with their economy—which makes one wonder why the Obama administration has laid this charge at China’s feet, and if it is particularly wise to do so.
Karaoke Rage. When innocent singing turns violent. →
“karaoke bars bring together several socially combustible elements.”
How many babies can fit inside one woman? →
In theory, there’s no limit—but the more babies, the earlier the birth date, and the lower the survival rate.
What's the most environmentally friendly... →
LCD as a general rule, but size, resolution and usage habits should be taken into consideration, too.
The optimal climate for musical instruments. →
“Around 70 degrees, with 40 percent to 50 percent humidity.”
Sportswriter Larry Fitzgerald Sr. says he can... →
Because of “that sportswriterly tendency to turn good people into faultless paragons of virtue”, in spite of the fact that Fitzgerald has previously shown a magnificent absence of impartiality.
Why some foreigners can't believe Obama won the... →
“…there will always be some who believe his election had to have been manipulated, simply because in their countries elections are always manipulated.”
Recession: McDonald's Is Lovin' It →
Because fast food is cheaper than classier restaurant fare, and sometimes cheaper than eating at home, too.
Trying to re-create restaurant dishes at home. →
Is impossible. But let’s pretend it is because even actual restaurant dishes aren’t consistent, rather than the simple truth the chefs are better at cooking.
How to escape the law-school debt trap. →
Apply to 100 different agencies and hope that they will loan you yet more money.
Why I'm not sorry that George W. Bush beat Al Gore... →
Because I’m Christopher-f*cking-Hitchens, so I can conceive of a world where a Democratic presidency would have been worse.
Just Call Every Bowl of Ice Cream a Big One →
“Often, I’ve found that I can characterize something in a way that’s more positive but just as truthful.”
Please, Slumdog Millionaire Is Not the Little... →
Because it was made by a famous director with a cast of stars. Oh, and “The Reader” is lifeless and pandering.
Will President Obama have a personal computer? →
If he wants.
Inside the ingenious hoax that fooled the British... →
“Sometimes, sportswriters do not know what they are talking about.”
I work with Obama-despising bigots but can't quit.... →
Just ignore it, or spout some passive-aggressive spiel that’ll probably get you fired.
How many terrorists are really left at Guantanamo,... →
Man, Guantanamo Bay sucks. Oh, you had a question? Sorry, all out of roo-
I don't give to my neighborhood panhandlers.... →
Yes, but only by donating time or money to homeless advocacy groups and shelters.
How do you measure a crowd as big as the one at... →
“Basic arithmetic.”
Are Girl Scout Cookies Safe? →
Yep.
Obama's Fashion Faux Pas →
President Obama wore white tie to a black tie event, and didn’t even do it right, as he was not wearing tails. It’s almost as if he wanted to better complement his wife’s white dress rather than adhere to the extremely important rules of formal attire.
Steve Jobs and Me →
Steve Jobs didn’t have the same kind of pancreatic cancer that Patrick Swayze does, and that’s why he’s not dead.
Liquidation Nation →
The economic crisis has probably affected consumer spending habits in ways we can’t yet know, so it’s probably not worth the energy for high-end goods business to go the now difficult route of using Chapter 11 to try and stay afloat.
Chris Matthews' Inaugural Jib-Jabbery →
Writer Jack Shafer fails to see the irony in using 1,200 words to take the MSNBC anchor to task for talking too much about things that don’t matter.